A Grown Up Now

Why say sorry? For speaking your mind? For meaning what you said? For being cruel? For questioning me? For finding faults with me?

Why apologize if in your heart of hearts, every word that you uttered against me you believe to be the sacred truth?

I guess you really are grown up now. Children do in a blink of an eye. Children do cast their parents in an evil role, especially at the time thay have grown up, whether true or not.

Yes, dear son, am a bad person. I was a bad student. A bad daughter. A bad sister. A bad wife. A bad friend. A bad granddaughter. A bad worker.

Yes. I am evil. You can never fathom the depth of my evilness. Be thankful for small favors. Just like I am thankful that you took a lot after your aunt instead of me. But then that is a difficult road you have been given. Better to have taken after your father where his version of the world is a lot simpler though narrower.

In speaking against your glimpse of my evilness, you have shed some blinders. I hope you can and will shed absolutely all blinders in order for you to see the world in its entirety and thus develop a wider view of life and its wonderful shades of gray.

At the least, I am assured that you have learned a lot and will be better than I ever was. At the least, I am assured that despite all my faults, I was able to raise a son who is truly on his way to become a good man.

I know that you do love me and that is enough for me. I never wanted to be hero-worshipped because I am not worth it. I just wish you could and would continue loving me as who I really am and not someone to look up to. I am me.

A few more years and I can disappear from your life, or at the least, be simply a distant satellite. But you always will be the fruit of my womb whom I have given my everything.

Posted from WordPress for Android


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